I am not the perfect man. I freely admit it. I think women today want WAY too much for what they offer us guys. I just don't care to try to jump through that hoop anymore. Hercules himself couldn't deal with the modern American woman, and he was the offspring of the Gods...
Looking back, I've had so many hot babes in my life, no wait, that must be someone else's life I'm seeing. Seriously, I'm just a regular guy, not very handsome, not very rich, not too talented, so it's always been a stacked and crooked game to find a happy, well adjusted, pretty, and compatible woman to spend my time with. But for 36 of my 48 years on this planet, I have chased the ladies like a piss soaked, booze addled wino chasing a fresh bottle of Thunderbird wine rolling down the stinkin' gutter right into oncoming traffic, with amazingly similar end results.
But this last time around I thought I had won the prize, hit it big in the love lotto. My last girlfriend was a true beauty, all right, young, sexy, blond, with steel blue eyes that promised nights of wicked and kinky paradise. And she was also bipolar (two years off her meds I found out only afterwards) but she was built like a size 2 sex doll, hot and horny, and she loved to do the nasty as much as me. Unfortunately, she had major and unsolvable issues with me, men, her life, and well, life in general. Can I pick 'em, or what?
Like always being a ticking emotional time bomb, like her and her drug addled ex boyfriend's 4 year old developmentally ravaged demon she-child, (that she screamed at constantly, yeah, that sure helped), like her love/hate affair with any illicit drug that made her stupid, insane, or hateful, and of course, her endless need to be entertained, wined and dined, and her endless bitchy mood swings. Instead of doing any housework or making any contribution to the payments on her expensive lifestyle, when bills had to be paid, she just complained she was "bored" and would run off with her friends. Or to her mama, the multi-addicted hippie freak burn out.
When she recently spent $400 of her whopping $500 two-week paycheck on "Halloween" costumes for her and her little fuck trophy, instead of helping with our bills, two days before my birthday, I snapped off, and kicked her out of my house. Good riddance...
God, why did I wait so long? Looking back I remember endless days of twisted emotional anguish trying to fulfill her non-stop cravings, that she threw at me day or night (as if I had nothing in life more important to deal with), or her complete addiction to those stupid $3.00 a pop "energy drinks", or her total inability to appreciate anything I did to help her, or gave to her (such as a new cell phone, a new laptop computer, and many other "trinkets" like $50 a shot panties, or me making all my buddies give her rides to and from her shitty little mall job when I was working, and just too busy).
She was like crack with tits, and I must of looked so fucking stupid, but, baby, I was hooked.
And of course then there was the night she decided to suddenly tell me that she had known for a "few months" that she had a "small" case of ovarian cysts that she just "couldn't bear" to get treated, and so had let flare into a major medical problem, and she was bleeding and in major pain, so off we go to the emergency room for 18 hours of nail digging, bitching, and hateful vitriol tossed at everyone that was trying to help her, including me, and all the overworked nurses, and the emergency room doctors, (which condition she subsequently would still NOT get treated, even though I had set numerous doctors appointments for her. She probably still hasn't dealt with it).
Shit, the list goes on and on. And the week before I chunked her ass out on the street she had decided she "just had to have a kitty, no, TWO kitties" and then left the little darlings with me when we split up, as she couldn't take them where she was moving to. (Of course, they needed expensive shots, and to be spayed. And I still haven't got them adopted out yet, thanks for nothing, bitch).
And through it all I just bit my lip, hung my head, and tried to convince myself how lucky I was to have a hot little sex bomb like her in my life, although a nagging little voice in my head said, sooner or later, dude, great sex or not, I was going to have to remove this little problem child from my life like a big ugly tick chewing on my short and curlies . But it got real nasty in the end. She sure didn't like reality much.
So I did it. I hated myself, felt untold guilt and shame that I just couldn't please her enough, knew I might never get a piece of ass that wonderful again, but I did it. I kicked that stunningly beautiful but hopelessly flawed wench out of my life. Took back the cell phone I provided her, boxed her shit up, and paid for a cab to send her packing. And even as I write this, she still has my name all over her myspace.com page proclaiming to the whole damned world that she still loves me. She wouldn't know what love is if it bit her on that sweet, little, succulent ass!
And the very same day, very same fucking day, (like there is a hell bitch phone service that tells these demonic drama mamas when to strike when we men are weakest), my ex-ex-girlfriend I had broken up with 18 months ago, (who was a mean drunk mortgage broker/real estate salesperson, a pretty, sexy, but deadly borderline type with multiple emotional problems as well), decided that after destroying my savings, getting me in deep dookie with every person she ever came in contact with, and generally making my life astoundingly miserable over our ten year ""relationship", she calls me and says that she "forgave me" and decided that I was, after all, the one true love of her long and miserable life. She said we were simply meant to be, that we were "soul mates" and she wanted to start all over again, fresh, and could she please move back in with me? Did I mention my skills at picking winners for girlfriends?
I told her in the subsequent 18 months that I had had to think about it, that I had come to the brilliant conclusion that we were not "soul mates" but rather "cell mates", and that I just didn't have the time, or inclination, to go through that particular nightmare experience again. I'd changed my phone number twice since we had broken up, but she always managed to find some idiot that would give her my new number, and as I write this she is calling non-stop and bugging the shit out of me, trying -still- to get back together again. (In fact, my cell phone is turned off right now because she JUST WON'T take the hint. Another new phone number, coming up. Stalkers, thy name is woman...)
PLEASE, God, sick these fiendish hell hounds on some other poor soul, I've had way too much of this kind of fun. I know, like vampires, these psycho-bitches from the depths of hades must feed, and spawn, but always, always, "why me"?
I hear all the time about women bemoaning the lack of the "right" kind of men to date, (or trick into the one way ticket to despairville for men that is the modern American marriage). Well, ladies, maybe it's because some other woman destroyed the souls of the men you cast your scorn upon, ripped their man hearts to pieces before YOU got a chance to do that fiendish deed yourself. I'll tell you the truth, guys, this old, ugly, bitter and broken man is through playing that rigged and joyless game.
Men, listen to me and heed these words of warning! if you are single right now, and thinking you are missing out on something, STOP, laugh, scratch your balls, fart out loud, grab a beer, and kick back and enjoy the best feeling there is. Freedom...
I hate the bullshit, I can can cook for myself, and I don't need the endless drama. When I need companionship, I've got a good dog, and if I need sex, I'll just call a hooker.
Now that you opened this in the next seven days you will:
* have someone fall in love with you
* find money you've been missing
* your luck will change for the better in all areas... love, happiness, job, money,
BUT...first you will have to repost this with 1 of these titles:
"I'm a lesbian"
"who you..Never..."
"I GOT ARRESTED AGAIN"
''Baby I want you back, i'm sorry ''
"Just to settle all the rumors... yes I did"
"I'm getting married!"
"I got the job!.. I'm moving to Japan!"
"I miss him"
"I guess it was never meant to be"
"I got the scholarship!...I'm going to LSU"
BEWARE IF YOU DON'T REPOST THIS YOU WILL HAVE BAD
LUCK FOR 2yrs
chain posts...so 21st century!
A
wealthy old Gentleman decides to go on a hunting safari in Africa ,
taking his faithful, elderly Jack Russell named Killer, along for the
company.
One
day the old Jack Russell starts chasing rabbits and before long,
discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading
rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The
old Jack Russell thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing
some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew
on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard
is about to leap, the old Jack Russell exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was
one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?'
Hearing
this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of
terror comes over him and he slinks away into th e trees. 'Whew!', says
the leopard, 'That was close! That old Jack Russell nearly had me!'
Meanwhile,
a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree,
figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old Jack Russell
sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that
something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The
young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here,
monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving
canine!
Now,
the old Jack Russell sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his
back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running,
the dog sits down wit h his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't
seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old
Jack Russell says...
'Where's that monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!
Moral of this story....
Don't mess with the old dogs...age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
If
you don't send this to five 'old' friends right away there will be five
fewer people laughing in the world. Of course, I am in no way
insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more 'youthfully
challenged.' You did notice the size of the print, didn't you?
SOME PEOPLE DRINK FROM THE FOUNTAIN OF KNOWLEDGE
OTHERS JUST GARGLE -
Man oh man, I sometimes just don't think love is worth all the hassles you go through just to try to find a little chunk of happiness. I had a sweet little girl, but she sure did me wrong. Ever been there? Yeah, I know the answer to that one, fella.
It's so hard to keep it going, a relationship I mean, when we all seem to want different things. Girls today, they got all the attitude of a prize fighter, they expect the moon, gift wrapped, and if you can't deliver all that and a box of chocolates, too bad for you, man.
What are we supposed to do, guys? If you take it all and don't say a thing, they call you a wimp, a loser, a Momma's boy, or worse. But if you try to put your foot down and make a relationship work both ways, your like as not to get called unfeeling, selfish, and told you don't know what a woman "needs".
Sheesh.
I give up. Maybe love is for the lucky ones, or maybe, it's just another illusion they sell to us so we won't realize how much the times have changed. Me, I'm gonna get used to sleeping alone, and talk a long walk with my dog, Rudy.
And maybe someday, I'll find a girl that doesn't want to just break my balls all the time.
Yeah, good luck...
This poor guy went to jail. This is not funny, I have had Windows do this to me before. I suggest everyone who reads this should go to www.puppylinux.org and and download an open source copy of PUPPY LINUX right now. ( Or UBUNTU if you prefer, Puppy is just my personal choice for simple and quick LIVE CD usage).
Sorry, but it just seems unfair that people don't know that most Linux distributions will read Microsoft files, and can rescue most if not all data on most computers (except in some cases of hardware failure.) But even if your hard drive fails, if you keep backups of important data on a USB drive, you can still operate your computer without the hard drive- IF- you run a Linux LIVE CD in it. Try doing THAT in VISTA!
Windows has a long history of leaving me in the lurch when I need it most, so I learned not to trust it for business that was critical. Most Linux distros come in a Live CD configuration, just D'load it, burn the ISO, and keep it nearby. Someday, you WILL need it.
Poor guy, he sure did...
This is a plug for something I have been following for a few years. The OLPC project is what humans mostly aspire to do, but seldom rise to. That stands for ONE LAPTOP PER CHILD and it might just change this crazy world for the better. And you can help.
I have wanted one of these since I first heard about them and now I can get one, and make sure a kid that needs one gets one as well, and so can you. How about a solar powered readable in daylight 6 hour lightweight laptop? Unbelievable, but true.
They are designed for poor and needful third world country children, but how about your child, or bikers, hikers, greenies, trenders, and more? The New York Times is quite impressed it seems...
With the give one get one program, you can get your hands on one of these cool new designs, and make sure a child who doesn't have your options can get one as well. Starting Nov. 12, 2007 for just $400.00 you can donate one OLPC laptop and get one for yourself in the bargain! (Plus a tax deduction - see their website for details).
I have heard some techies try to tear this design down, don't you listen to them! If you need more than this, cool, but who doesn't need a waterproof solar powered or hand crankable computer? I hate to take my Toshiba or IBM laptop on my bicycle - too heavy, too expensive, can't read it in sunlight, but this one is just what I need. And its green and white. Tres Cool.
Seriously, we have so much in this country, why don't you share a little bit to help a child somewhere that needs a chance to compete in this digital domain world?
Have you ever downloaded a song, or book, or movie that might be copyrighted? That is a crime my friend, and you should stop that immediately. A woman was just sentenced to pay $220,000 dollars for that crime. And by all accounts she quite possibly didn't even do it! Ouch!
By sworn testimony from witnesses for the prosecution, she was a good customer and bought hundreds of CD's and DVDs from the local Best Buy. Think she will ever do THAT again? The RIAA just might have totally alienated and tried to "make an example" of someone who USED to be their loyal customer. Think it couldn't happen to you? Or your kid? Or anybody else you know?
And what of all those iPods you see everywhere today? Are ALL those songs legit? Do they even KNOW?
I don't download copyrighted ANYTHING illegally, and neither should you. That's right, it's JUST TOO SCARY to contemplate the consequences.
But I will ALSO never - EVER - give one more stinkin' dime to any pay for music scheme these MUSIC INDUSTRY greedy punks offer, nope, never again. No music store sales, NO Walmart or Best Buy CD's, not even iTunes. The traditional music business is DEAD to me. Attack your customer base at your own risk, fellas. This Canadian metal music fan expresses it quite nicely!
But wait, there are other options. I WILL be paying $10.00 dollars gladly to RADIOHEAD for their new album, and I am not even a recent Radiohead fan. Haven't listened to them much lately since they don't get much airtime on corporate controlled airwaves anymore. But I always liked their song CREEP, and I LOVE their new business model. "PAY WHAT YOU WANT." You sold me right there guys. I will happily take a chance on these new songs today!
(Really, it's called In Rainbows - go and pre-order it RIGHT NOW, and pay what you want! I will be right here when you get back.)
See? The tired old music "pimps" want you to think they own ALL the music. That concept is so WRONG! There are a gazillion unsigned bands, tons of public domain music, new fresh ideas of distribution, and so much more that I am kind of GLAD the misguided greed crazed lawyer run record companies have done this. Sue at your own risk, it just might come back to haunt you. Besides, Radiohead and bands that use the new models of distribution stand to make much more per sale this way, than they ever would of made from the "old style" record companies. Time for a new paradigm of music delivery?
Stop buying tired crap from burnt out music whores like, well, I won't single them out, but they know who they are. Find something new, support local music, look around - it's all over the Internet. But remember, DON'T STEAL copyrighted music. And don't support greed and avarice in it's worst form, either.
This weeks recommendation is Radiohead. Next, I will be making one post a week for the next year of FREE, or NON traditional record company based music that you can download for free or at a reasonable cost, that won't put ONE PENNY in the coffers of the dirty greed mongers who sue their best customers.
(P.S.If everyone, especially anyone that has ever downloaded even ONE SONG for free, donated just ONE DOLLAR to poor Mrs. Thomas, she could pay that judgement, and have money left over to buy Radiohead's new album! I'm game, how about you?)
I have been reading a truly thoughtful rebuttal to the latest media smear campaigns against Linux, and I just have to laugh. What do these big blowhards and naysayers think of the average man? They think we are STUPID and DUMB beyond belief!
The Windows supported media just cant wrap their little punkin' sized heads around the concept that some folks would GLADLY give up some simplicity for more freedom of use. It's the SAME argument every time...""desktop users don't want, need, or KNOW how to do without ADOBE Products, MICROSOFT Products, or APPLE Products, and they couldn't possibly know how to modify or make a computer system usable for their needs without them". Uh, BULLSH*T!
You stupid, stupid men. Your salaries are paid by these companies in advertising revenues so "OF COURSE" you think they rule the computer world. But there is a big and growing cross section of the computer using world that has branched off of your country club mentality of computer usage.
Myself, I have been tinkering with computers since the TI994a, Sinclair Timex, and TRS-80s came out in the late seventies and early eighties. I had the pleasure of using many fine IBM products through the years, as well as Apple IIes and Macintoshes. I have been a happy "desktop compter user" before any of the current crop of GUI enabled machines were even released. I had a copy of Windows 1.0 before most of these "computer writers" were BORN.
And I just like Linux. I know Windows, I make a living supporting people who use Windows, and I have made a nice living for years helping others figure out how to fix their crippled, broken, oudated or plain badly conceived machines. Tech support is what this fuss is all about. Most people have a finite limit to their knowledge of any particular system. MAny millions of dollars have been made by keeping you in the dark, using proprietary OS'es that NEED high priests and mumbo pocus. Linux is different than that, and a response to that broken greedy system.
Linux just happens to be a better support system for most people. You are FREELY given the knowledge to learn ALL parts of the OS. And that's what SCARES the bejesus out of companies like, well, you know. You learn to fix what you need to fix. Most people just haven't tried it yet. Maybe today is the day for you...
When the automobile came in wide usage, there were still MANY horses and carriages on the road. Folks CONSTANTLY complained about the cars scareing the horses. Innovation is like that. The old systems never want to give way to the new, or better, systems. SO WHAT!
In Paris during the 1860's the number one cause of deaths for gentlemen 30 to 40 was boiler explosions,,,between their legs! It was from steam powered automobiles. That didn't stop automobile technological advances, and it didn't even end up that steam was that practical a method of locomotion for automobiles after all! Who knew?
I posit that years from now, most people will be using a Linux or open source type of operating system on their computing device, of whatever type. It will win in the end, and not because I say so, but because it's more flexible. And viruses and worms are slowly crippling the "BIG MEDIA FAVORITE" operating system. If virus "protection" companies had their way, well, we would ALL be using their services ALL DAY LONG. Get smart, and get out of that racket. If you are going to use a computer, you need to get an operating system that is stronger and more clever than that!
Corporate entities have ALWAYS tried to control the common mans work, thinking and leisure. But we just outsmart them, time and time again.
If you want to use Windows, rock on. But if you are ready to get more for your money, and less control from above, try Linux. In fact try ALL the great Linuxes out there. Enjoy your freedom.
